To Save A Templar
by LarenCousland
Summary: Cullen's mind has been weakened by trauma, and Nadine has been rejected by her lover. Can she help pull this man from the dark place that holds him, or will he finally crack? Amell/Cullen/Alistair/ and more because there's just not enough Cullen Love!
1. The Landsmeet

_**Third DA fanfic. Coming up is a great breakup scene. Hope you enjoy! Oh yeah.... I do not own DA origins or its characters and all that rot. **_

_**=3**_

* * *

"The Western Hills throw their lot in with the Warden, Maker help us"

Nadine held her breath, watching as each of the nobles agreed to support her, to assemble troops to fight against the blight. For the first time in a very long time, she began to hope that they stood a chance of defeating the Blight.

"Traitors!" Loghain sneered, glaring at each of the nobles before them. He insulted each noble standing before him, stopping only when he had a chance to call Eamon fat and lazy. She rolled her eyes, mentally noting his childish behavior.

"Face it, you lose." She said curtly, her green eyes sharply regarding him with distaste. She caught Alistair smirking at her from the corner of her eye, and her heart gave a happy leap in her chest. It had been a long time coming, but slowly the awkward Templar caught her heart. She had only felt such a way before about another individual, but she assured herself that it was merely infatuation. What she felt for Alistair was real. A blush threatened to creep up as she remembered the night they had shared just barely a week prior. Being both virgins, it had been a very awkward experience, but a lovely one as well.

Suddenly Loghain was yelling at her, threatening her. He challenged them to a duel. She looked down at her robes and at his armor and arched her eyebrow. "You want to challenge me to a _sword_ fight?" She spat the words at him, the look on her face regarding him as if he had lost his mind. This apparently was indeed the case, as he sneered triumphantly and took a step forward as he started to draw his long sword. Her eyes widened, and she grabbed for the staff that was strapped to her back. Suddenly there was an armored hand on hers, and she snapped her head to the right. Alistair had a look of murder in his eyes, and her mouth fell open in shock. The Templar was so often jocular, optimistic, and easygoing. Seeing this side of him that was full of wrath sent a shiver down her spine. His eyes seemed to be asking her for permission, and she swallowed as she nodded her head.

"Alistair will be my Champion"

With that the Templar drew his blue sword, donned his shield and stepped forward hastily. She couldn't help the wave of concern that drifted over. As Loghain and Alistair circled one another, the concern faded away to pride. Loghain sprang forward first, his sword slicing the air with deadly intent. Alistair raised Duncan's shield and blocked the sword. As Loghain readied himself to swing again, Alistair rushed forward and barreled into him with the shield, knocking the older man over. The fight seemed to last forever, the contenders both exhibiting sword mastery. Suddenly, Loghain stepped too far to the right, stumbling just a touch. Alistair took advantage of this, parrying up and knocking the warrior onto his back.

They called the duel, a guard stepping forward to pull each of the men away from each other. Nadine noticed the urgency in Alistair's features, and how he was reluctant to return to her side. Afterwards, she watched contempt paint itself over his face as Loghain spoke of the valor he and his father both possessed. Suddenly Riordan took a step forward.

"My lady, if I may be so bold, what is it you plan to do about him?"

Nadine pondered this, looking to Alistair first and only seeing icy death in his eyes. She turned her face to Riordan then and noticed the sense of urgency in his eyes.

"I can see you already have an idea, Riordan, what is it you would have me do?"

Riordan cleared his throat, looking at the young woman with secrets hidden in his eyes. "My lady, I suggest that we conscript him. He should go through the Joining and spend his time fighting the Blight at our side. It would provide him with the ability to seek forgiveness from the people of Ferelden."

Nadine noticed the way he said it, the way his voice hinted at larger things but held them secret at the same time. She would not trust Loghain, but she saw in all seriousness the subtle hints Riordan seemed to be giving.

"WHAT?!" Alistair exclaimed, looking at Riordan as if he had suddenly sprouted a second head. "He enslaved Denerim citizens, he killed King Cailan… He tried to usurp the throne from his own daughter, AND he put a butcher in the Arly who imprisoned nobles and tortured them. It is an honor to be a Grey Warden, one he will _NEVER_ be worthy of!"

Anora glared at Alistair, though she kept her queenly composure. "He has a point; the Joining is often fatal is it not? If he survives it let him dedicate his life to his redemption."

Nadine looked at the three of them, feeling like she was standing in the middle of a group of man eating tigers. "How would we know if he was trustworthy? He has already shown Ferelden just what kind of man he is, running from Ostagar with his tail 'tween his legs, like a pansy boy. How will I know that when we stand before the Archdemon he won't wet himself and run…? Or sink his blade in between my shoulder blades and leave Ferelden to die?"

Riordan looked at her again, and she stopped speaking. There was something he wasn't telling them, a reason for him supporting Loghain other than what he spoke of. She looked from Riordan to Loghain and sighed with complacency. Anora smiled happily, realizing that the mage was about to give in.

Alistair also saw it and his face reddened with anger. "No, Nadine we cannot let him! Not after all he did! He killed Duncan! He killed Cailan! He's a very…. Bad man." He said the last two words with such loathing that Nadine was convinced that he was dripping with it.

"Alistair…"

"NO! Nadine, I will take up my father's throne if it means keeping him out of the Grey Warden's! Nadine… please…."

Nadine looked at Alistair, her face pinched with confusion. Alistair despised the idea of becoming King, and here he was volunteering for the job as long as she rejected Loghain. Nadine sighed, and then shook her head. "Alistair is right; Loghain deserves to die for his crimes against people of Ferelden, and for his treason against the King."

She looked at Alistair, and nodded. With malice he drew his sword and stepped forward. He barely gave Loghain time to finish his goodbye to Anora, before swinging his sword. Loghain's head rolled across the floor, and Anora fell to her knees beside his bleeding body.

Alistair looked at Nadine with sadness and anger painted on his face before dropping the sword and walking away.


	2. The Bittersweet End

_I am sorry for the delay on this chapter you guys, I have had a few setbacks in life that had sapped me of my creativity. I know this is a short chapter, but I believe its words are powerful enough to portray what I wanted. Enjoy, and leave feedback. Hugs!_

* * *

Her heart was beating in her ears, a sickening drum that seemed to expel her very strength with every beat. There he stood, plate armor glinting in the light, his jaw hard... His moves constricted. Breathe, Nadine breathe!

Black spots suddenly filled her vision, her lungs burning with the cry for oxygen. Yet she could not draw breath! His cold expression and stern jaw made the blow even worse, and she felt as if she had been physically punched in the stomach. Her green eyes travelled over his face, looking for the regular air of jocularity that almost surrounded him like an aura. There was nothing, no jest. No love. His brown eyes were empty, and their emptiness caused her body to shut down. The weight of her breaking heart caused her knees to collapse, and she sank to the ground as a rollercoaster of emotions rode over her.

Anger. Her green eyes flashed a building rage that she could not contain, or damper. She felt the atmosphere around her growing thin, the air becoming devoid of substance. She felt that burning power within her, the beckoning to cast. Her emotions were rendering her powerless, and soon she would be merciless.

A hand was snaking around her thigh, head snapping down to see it. Surprisingly it was her own, small dagger glinting in the dim light. Time was slowing down, stopping, and the veil around her almost gone. Magic was threatening to burst from her, fueled by the accelerant of betrayal. Heartbreak and betrayal.

She was bitten! Her green eyes snapping to her leg, where the bite was felt. There, she was awed to see the silver dagger leaving a clean wound, drawn by her own hand. The wound welled with angry red blood, and as her life began to trickle down her leg the veil snapped shut so fiercely that the halls must have echoed with it.

Her lungs suddenly demanded air, and she took a few great whooping gasps. As her vision returned to normal, she realized just how close she had been to becoming an abomination. Though the cut had brought her humanity back in check, it had done nothing to loosen the vice grip on her heart.

His eyes were now full of concern, and for a moment his hand danced forward to help her. Her eyes stopped him. All love had drained from them, and had been replaced by something he had never seen. She said nothing, she did nothing, and her eyes were as empty as the darkest night. Nothing was there for him now, nothing ever would be.

She would stand, small dagger still clutched in her hand as the tiny river of flowed to her feet. He opened his mouth to say something, but with movements faster than he realized she flicked the silver blade forward. Her fingers released it, and it hit the ground and skidded to his plate boot. He would wish that the clock could be turned back, to before the landsmeet. Maybe this was an angry dream.

Suddenly she was gone. She had left so quickly, he had barely seen her move. His eyes glanced to the floor, to the blade and the tiny droplets of blood she had left as evidence of their conversation. He picked up that blade, his finger running down the blade. As the flesh of his thumb was split, and his own blade began to well up in the wound he realized that this was not a dream. This was real.

The only woman he would ever love was gone, the binds of tradition and royalty having robbed him of her.

He would hate himself for this. No physical wound would ever replace this feeling. This angry, endless, painful feeling. This sweet, sweet....

Agony.


	3. The Child

"You can't possibly expect me to…," Alistair started, looking over the green eyed mage with such shock. It was hard to figure out if she was kidding, or this was some kind of cruel torture she had decided to bestow upon him. One he would silently agree that he deserved.

The human mage pressed her lips together tightly, such lush and full tiers that once kissed him with fevered passion going white from her disapproval. How his arms ached for her, and continued to ache for her… It was like he had angry rates eating away at his heart. If only she showed anger, instead of this awkward cold silence that seemed to have consumed the party. Nadine had shut herself off, and no one but the two of them knew why. It was so sudden, that even the cynical Morrigan commented, which only made Alistair feel worse.

Those emotionless, beautiful green eyes now burned with something. Life, was all that he could say to describe it, for love and rage mixed create a fire so amazing it is hard to decipher. He could feel their gaze boring into him, and his skin was crawling from it.

"Alistair…" Nadine said simply, calmly. Almost to calmly, he thought, which turned his blood to ice water. "There are people outside, in that city. People who are looking to us to save them… We had the chance to do it right, but instead you sought petty vengeance and now… Now we have no choice. Either one of us dies, or the both of us live. If one of us sacrifices our life to end the blight, who is to say that there won't be another archdemon? In what a hundred years? Ten years? Next week? We don't know what the darkspawn are up to… So, as your commander, you will bed Morrigan. For the people you have promised to save, you will put your dislike aside and you will father a child. Stop acting like a scared little boy, and just do it."

Alistair felt that comment hit him like a knee to the gut, his knees even giving a quiver of threat that he might sink to them. "Nadine.. I am not a coward." It was a simple phrase, a simple defense but it set her off into a fury.

"Yes, Alistair you are. You are. You are the biggest coward I have ever met. I wasn't even a day into the ranks when you thrust me forward into a position to lead, despite you being the senior Warden. You preyed on my feelings for you to get what you wanted, and then dropped me like an overripe and infested fruit. You killed Teryn Loghain to feel relief of rage you've harbored, and this thrust us both into this situation. You did this, now you will fix it. I will not die if there is the possibility that this will happen again. So stop it. Act like a man and not a mouse, Alistair."

Those words cut like a knife, and Alistair was powerless against it. "As you wish, my lady…" He murmured softly, and started for the door. She stood with her head held high until he was out of the room, and the door was safely closed behind him. She would not cry, Alistair had already called enough tears from her. She would not give that idiot the benefit of her pain any longer, no matter how much her heart hurt.

"He was mine, and he didn't want me. Nadine, tomorrow you fight a dragon. The least of your fears is a man. Especially that man…"

She walked to the window, and opened it. The moon, it was something that always calmed her. Staring at it, calming her with its bright glow… How many nights did she sit there, staring out at it? Pleading with the moon that tomorrow would be a better day…

Nadine sighed, just as Alistair and Morrigan came together and made a child that would give humanity a chance at life, and herself a chance to live another twenty years before violently dying. At this moment, Nadine hated the moon.


End file.
